This past week was a big one for me on my recovery and transformation journey. Last Monday, I set out from Kansas City to San Antonio for my first business trip since February 2020. And its significance had nothing to do with COVID.
February 2020 was the last business trip I took as a non-believer. God showed up in my life in a hotel room in Chicago that week. That’s when I was blackmailed by a prostitute that I had visited. She and her partner found my wife’s contact information and tried to get more money out of me. They finally gave up and called Amy to tell her about the evil I was doing in Chicago, exposing the double life I had been walking with for so long.
But thanks to the power of forgiveness, from Jesus and from Amy, and finally admitting that I was broken in sin, I was able to break free my sexual sins. It transformed my life in ways that were only possible through the price Jesus paid for us on the cross.
Fast forward to the week of the trip.
Was this trip going to signify a “return to normal” for me? Was I going to give in to the lie the enemy was putting in my head in the days leading up to the trip? That I continue to be a slave to the temptations that were waiting for me in San Antonio.
There was definitely a feeling of anxiousness as Amy dropped me off at the airport. But then we did something that was missing from every other business trip I had taken previously – we prayed together. We prayed for the Lord to protect our hearts and minds from the enemy while I was out of town.
From that moment, it was obvious that the answer to the question about this trip being a “return to normal” was going to be a resounding NO. There was no temptation, no signs of my sinful past to be found in Texas whatsoever.
What I did find was freedom.
After nearly two years, I finally could fully and confidently admit to myself that I am not defined by my past. I am a new creation in Christ. The anxiety I had was unfounded. With God at the center of my life, the lies of the enemy will not work anymore.
The journey I’ve been on prepared me for the spiritual war – protected by the armor of God. Instead of spending my downtime looking to get into trouble, scrolling social media, watching the news, and generally filling myself up with negative thoughts, I dove into scripture, prayed, got in some exercise and worshiped God as much as I could. God has been so good to me. How could I do anything else?
When I got back to Kansas City, Amy and I talked about how we both felt after this trip. We both had the same feeling – peaceful.
After two years of battling this demon I brought into our marriage, I think we can both confidently say we’ve slayed it by putting God at the center of our lives. Will there be more battles and lies from the enemy tomorrow or next week? Absolutely.
But we’re ready for the fight. Together. With the power of God on our side. We will walk in victory.
And that is our new normal.